An experiment in lust, regret and kissing
C. Sittenfeld
The New York Times (International Edition)
02 Sep 2024
I challenged ChatGPT to a beach read writing contest. Here are the results.
This summer, I agreed to a literary experiment with Times Opinion: What is the difference between a story written by a human and a story written by artificial intelligence?
We decided to hold a contest between ChatGPT and me, to see who could write — or “write” — a better beach read. I thought going head-tohead with the machine would give us real answers about what A.I. is and isn’t currently capable of and, of course, how big a threat it is to human writers. And if you’ve wondered, as I have, what exactly makes something a beach read — frothy themes or sand under your feet? — we set out to get to the bottom of that, too.
First, we asked readers to vote on which themes they wanted in their ideal beach read. We also included some options that are staples of my fiction, including privilege, self-consciousness and ambivalence. ChatGPT and I would then work using the top vote-getters.
Lust, regret and kissing won, in that order. Readers also wrote in suggestions. They wanted beach reads about naps and redemption and tattoos gone wrong; puppies and sharks and secrets and white linen caftans; margaritas and roller coasters and mosquitoes; yearning and bonfires and women serious about their vocations. At least 10 readers suggested variations on making the characters middle-aged. One reader wrote, “We tend to equate summer with kids,” and suggested I explore “Why does summer still feel special for older people?”
So I added middle-age and another write-in, flip-flops — because it seemed fun, easy and, yes, summery — to the list and got to work on a 1,000-word story.
My editor fed ChatGPT the same prompts I was writing from and asked it to write a story of the same length “in the style of Curtis Sittenfeld.” (I’m one of the many fiction writers whose novels were used, without my permission and without my being compensated, to train ChatGPT. Groups of fiction writers, including people I’m friends with, have sued OpenAI, which developed ChatGPT, for copyright infringement. The New York Times has sued Microsoft and OpenAI over the use of copyrighted work.)
Readers made it clear, with their votes and suggestions, that a beach read is more than just a story you happen to read at the beach; it’s a vibe. As for the results of the contest — which one was the better story — I invite you to be the judge. Here are my story and ChatGPT’s. Read to the end to find out which is which.
You probably can see where this is going
When my flight from LaGuardia landed in Minneapolis on that August afternoon, the first text I received was from the executive director of the nonprofit I’d be holding the training for the next day, canceling our dinner because of a family emergency. The second text was from my friend Jenny asking me to look at the profile of a guy named James on the dating app we both used and to let her know if it was the same askednot-one-question James I’d gone out with around Christmas. That date had felt like such a waste of an evening that I’d given myself a break from the app since.
By the time the seatbelt light had gone off, I’d texted Jenny to tell her it wasn’t, and I’d received a heart on the app from a man who was currently online, whose handle was MtnBiker1971. He was 53, a year younger than me; he had deep brown eyes and was bald with a gray and brown beard; and three of his five photos featured him on a bike. I swear, I swear, that MtnBiker1971 and I already had exchanged generic greetings before it occurred to me that because my settings showed profiles within 10 miles of me, he was local.
“Oh sorry!” I typed. “Just realized you live in Minnesota and I’m only visiting for 36 hrs.”
Before I could send this, a new message came in from him: “What’s your favorite fruit that’s considered a vegetable and what’s your best episode of TV ever?”
So I deleted “Oh sorry ... ” and typed “Okra and the season finale of Severance. You?”
Can you see where this is going? You probably can see where this is going.
By the time I was in an Uber, he’d told me his name was Brian, he worked for an environmental advocacy group, and the previous weekend, on a trail, he’d ridden his bike past a woodpecker sitting on the back of a deer; he’d been so close that he and the deer had made eye contact.
I typed, “Just to clarify, you did or didn’t also make eye contact with the woodpecker?”
“Sadly no,” he replied. “Next time?” By the time I’d entered my hotel room, he’d written, “I don’t usually suggest it this quickly but want to grab a drink tonight?”
So far, I’d answered no question untruthfully. When he’d said he lived in Saint Paul, I’d typed, “I’m currently in downtown Minneapolis.” I hesitated for a few seconds then typed, “I’m free tonight.”
THE UBER LET ME OUT about a hundred feet from Lake Como, and I walked toward the pavilion. A band Brian liked was performing at 7, and when I’d admitted I’d never been to Como Park, he’d replied, “You’re not one of those Minneapolis people with a superiority complex over St Paul, are you?” I’d written, “Nope, my superiority complex is for totally different reasons.”
Outside the pavilion’s restaurant, I spotted a bearded bald guy; he wore a blue T-shirt, jeans and flip flops. From a few feet away, I said, “Brian?” and he raised his eyebrows and said, “Cassie?”
“Should we hug?” I asked, and he smiled such a warm and since-reseeming smile that even though I’d been on far too many mediocre dates for extravagant optimism, I was gripped by extravagant optimism. “Yes,” he said. “We should.” We stepped into each other’s arms.
On line for beers, I felt as if I were on a reality show about middle-aged Manhattan women who travel to Minnesota to go on dates with hot outdoorsy middle-aged men. Then we carried our drinks outside — I rarely drank beer, but it seemed Midwestern — and all the picnic tables were full so we walked along the lake until we found an empty bench. It was 70 degrees, the sunlight was golden, and the trees were lushly green; why didn’t I live in Minnesota?
We discussed where we’d grown up (me in D.C., him in Duluth), our jobs (I refrained from mentioning my employer’s location) and our first marriages (his had lasted 13 years, mine 21). When he casually asked, “And what year did you move here?” I hesitated before blurting out, “2019.”
I really almost never lied, in life or on dates, and I deeply regretted the necessity.
Both to change the subject and because it was true, I gestured toward the multiple pedal boats out on the lake, whose prows were shaped like the heads of swans, and said, “Is it cheesy to say I love those?”
“It’s cheesy,” he said, “but in a good way.” He glanced at his watch. “The band is starting, though.”
The band! It turned out to be a David Bowie cover band, a fact I’d hardly paid attention to amid the spontaneity, excitement and growing deceit. As we entered the upper level of the pavilion, I could hear the opening notes of “Golden Years,” and I saw six people onstage, the lead singer a woman with long blond hair wearing a baby blue suit and a white tie. The pavilion was packed with people of all ages, some already dancing by the stage and others sitting on rickety benches and folding lawn chairs.
As “Golden Years” segued into “Changes,” Brian angled his head toward the dance floor, and I nodded. As I learned over the next several songs, he was proficient in his headbobbing and sidestepping without trying too hard or too little, which was probably the best I could hope anyone would say about me. Then I was dancing with two octogenarian women wearing button down shirts, fanny packs and Tevas; then with an androgynous aqua-haired 20-something who wore a cropped black tank top and showed abundant armpit hair whenever they threw their arms up; then with two little girls and their dad. Whenever I turned away from the band, I could see the sun setting over the lake.
By the last song, the sun was down. After the final applause, as the crowd dispersed, Brian said, “Swan boat time?”
The boat rental did not, apparently, stop at dark; the boats could be illuminated, so that the swans glowed, and their glowing reflections were mirrored in the water. When we were in the middle of the lake, I said, “I feel like I’m inside a fairy tale.”
“Yeah?” Brian turned his head to look at me. “Which one?”
If I turned my head, I knew we’d kiss. “I’m still trying to figure that out,” I said, and I turned my head toward him.
HE OFFERED TO DRIVE ME HOME, but of course I declined. We made out more as we waited for my Uber, though, and when it arrived, he said, “I’d love to see you again.”
“Same,” I said.
From the car, I texted Jenny: “This is so weird but I just had a perfect first date.”
Ten seconds later, my phone rang. “Perfect how?”
“I went out with him impulsively, as a lark, then I accidentally really liked him. He was great and we drank beer and danced sweatily. But I never told him I’m just in town for work, so now I ghost him, right? Because even though ghosting is horrible, what else am I supposed to do? Retroactively ruin things?”
When Jenny sighed, the sigh was somehow affectionate. “If you ghost him,” she said, “it’s definitely the end. But if you tell him the truth, maybe it’s the beginning.”
The flip-flop moment
Lydia had always been practical. It was her hallmark, the trait that kept her life organized in neat rows, like the files on her desk or the cushions on her sofa. At 48, this practicality had become her armor, protecting her from the reckless impulses that she might have indulged in during her younger years. And so, when she walked into the coffee shop on that sweltering July afternoon, it was with the same cautious optimism that she had applied to everything else in her life.
The coffee shop was called Java Junction, an ironic nod to its nondescript location. It was where she met her friends for book club, where she studied with her son while he was in high school and where she’d spent countless hours with her late husband. That was the first thing she’d felt when she entered, the lingering echo of shared memories. She was here for a meeting with her college friend, Julie, and Julie was late, which gave Lydia plenty of time to observe.
She sat at a small table near the window, which was always Lydia’s favorite spot. The sunlight spilled over the table, creating a halo around her as she skimmed through a magazine, her flip-flops occasionally brushing the edge of the table. She had never been one for extravagant shoes — practical, again. But on that day, the flip-flops seemed to betray a different side of her, a side that wanted to feel something more, something less anchored.
Julie arrived, panting slightly from the heat. She was a whirlwind of energy, always dressed in vibrant colors and speaking in rapid bursts. The two friends embraced, and Lydia noticed how the decades had changed them both — Julie still had that unfiltered joy, while Lydia felt a certain grayness to her own existence.
They talked about their lives — Julie’s recent move to a beach town and Lydia’s endless workdays, the responsibilities of being a single mother, the growing distance from her teenage son. They laughed about old times and reminisced about their college days, and for a moment, Lydia felt something she hadn’t in a while: a spark of connection, of vitality.
As they chatted, Lydia noticed a man sitting alone at a nearby table. He was tall, with an easy smile and eyes that seemed to dance with mischief. He wore a pair of flip-flops — practical, but worn with a casual confidence. Lydia couldn’t help but glance at him every now and then, her gaze lingering longer than she intended.
Julie, ever observant, caught Lydia’s eyes darting toward the man and laughed. “You’ve got that look, Lydia.”
Lydia flushed slightly, but tried to play it off. “What look?”
“You know, the look of someone who’s thinking about doing something impulsive. Go talk to him.”
Lydia shook her head, though her curiosity was piqued. “I don’t think so.”
But the man, sensing perhaps that he was being observed, caught Lydia’s eye and smiled. It was a warm, inviting smile, and Lydia felt a flutter in her chest. She looked away quickly, pretending to examine her coffee cup,
but she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks.
Julie, however, had no such qualms. “What’s the worst that could happen? You go over, say hello, and if it’s awkward, you just come back. It’s not like you’re trying to get married.”
Lydia hesitated, her mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, she felt the tug of familiarity and routine. On the other, she felt the irresistible pull of something unknown, something that reminded her of her own lost desires.
“Fine,” she said, laughing nervously. “I’ll do it.”
Julie’s grin widened as Lydia stood up, her flip-flops slapping against the floor with each step. She approached the man, her heart pounding in her ears.
“Excuse me,” she said, her voice surprisingly steady. “I hope you don’t mind me bothering you, but I couldn’t help but notice your flip-flops. They’re kind of . . . carefree.”
The man looked up, his eyes twinkling. “I suppose they are. I’m David, by the way.”
“I’m Lydia,” she said, extending her hand, which David took with a warm, firm grip.
They talked, the conversation flowing easily. David was charming and engaging, with a disarming honesty that Lydia found refreshing. They spoke about their lives, their interests and the little quirks that made them unique. For a while, Lydia forgot about her practical life and lost herself in the moment.
It was only when the conversation began to dwindle and David suggested they meet again that Lydia felt a pang of regret. She was in her 40s, a mother, a widow. What was she doing, flirting with a stranger in a coffee shop?
“Maybe,” Lydia said, trying to sound nonchalant. “I should get back to my friend.”
David looked disappointed but smiled. “Of course. It was lovely meeting you, Lydia.”
As Lydia walked back to her table, she glanced over her shoulder to see David watching her, a hopeful expression on his face. Julie looked up at her, eyes twinkling with mischief.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Julie asked.
Lydia smiled weakly. “No, it wasn’t.” But the encounter had stirred something within her — a mix of excitement and apprehension. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she had been on the brink of something, something that might have changed her life. And as she left the coffee shop later, her flipflops felt unusually heavy, as though they were holding her back from taking a step into the unknown.
The days that followed were filled with a mix of longing and regret. Lydia found herself thinking about David more often than she cared to admit, replaying their conversation, analyzing every detail. She had never been one for regret, but this time, it gnawed at her — a small, persistent itch that she couldn’t scratch.
Eventually, she realized that the flip-flop moment wasn’t just about David or the possibility of a new romance. It was about her own desire for change, for something different from the routine she had built. The encounter had awakened something inside her, a recognition of the parts of herself that had been buried under layers of practicality and duty.
And so, with a mixture of courage and trepidation, Lydia decided to embrace the unexpected. She reached out to David, sending a simple message that read, “If you’re still interested, I’d love to continue our conversation.”
As she hit send, Lydia felt a sense of liberation — a small step towards reclaiming the parts of herself she had put on hold. She knew that whatever happened next, she was ready to face it, flip-flops and all.
Postscript from the author
My story was the first one. Could you tell?
I have to give credit to ChatGPT for making its protagonist a 48-year-old who reads magazines and blushes — those are definitely things my characters would do. But otherwise, I didn’t think the language or emotions seemed similar to those in my fiction. In fact, and this might be the ultimate insult, ChatGPT’s story was so boring that I wouldn’t have finished reading it if I hadn’t agreed to this assignment. Overall I found it to be proficient on a sentence level but clichéd, and also shallow in sentiment. To me, there’s just something missing — like the literary equivalent of fat-free cookies or a Ken doll’s genitals. (Admittedly, I make no pretense at objectivity. I don’t want to lose my livelihood, after all.)
Here are some of the things I did to write a summer-themed short story that I’m pretty sure ChatGPT didn’t do:
• started writing more than a week before I knew what the reader-selected prompts would be, because I was worried that if I tried to write too quickly, the results would be sloppy.
• drove from my house in Minneapolis to the park in St. Paul where I’d decided to set the story to see what it looked and felt like.
• included in the story a real Twin Cities-based David Bowie cover band, called The Band That Fell to Earth, whom I’d seen perform.
• asked a biking enthusiast friend if Brian’s dating app handle MtnBiker1971 was so obvious that no self-respecting biker would use it.
• asked the same friend what trail Brian would recently have ridden on, but then didn’t name any of the places he suggested because of space.
• got feedback on my first draft from several family members and friends, including a friend who, like Cassie, lives in New York, is in her early 50s and intermittently uses dating apps.
• changed the location of where Brian grew up from Mankato to Duluth because Kamala Harris selected Tim Walz as her running mate during the weeks I was working on the story, and Walz’s ties to Mankato made the mention of it feel distracting.
• interrupted the writing process to look at the menu of a Thai restaurant I’ll be eating at soon and to check flight times to Cincinnati in October (and no, there’s absolutely nothing in my story that’s relevant to Thai food or Cincinnati — this was recreational).
• wrote a first draft that was almost two times too long.
• cut that draft but still asked my editor if I could exceed the agreedupon 1,000-word length by about 200 words.
This is something I did that ChatGPT may have done:
• chose character names by looking at popular baby names from the 1970s, when the characters would have been born, on the Social Security Administration website.
Something I definitely didn’t do that ChatGPT did:
• wrote its story in 17 seconds. That last detail feels the most, well, robotic and the most unsettling. Contrast that with the specificity and longing of readers’ suggestions — the margaritas, the linen caftans, the redemption. What I loved about them was that they were a mix of colorful, ridiculous, funny and poignant, which is also what, at our best, we as humans are — and what, as of this writing, it still seems to me that A.I. isn’t.
In human vs. machine, at least for the time being, I’m still betting on people.
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